I have finally reached a point where i have realised how bad my weight is, and i am not in denial. I am obese, and it is making me ugly and ill. And you know what i have had enough, i want to reach 165lbs, which would be a good weight, not great, but a hell of a lot better, and i could love myself again. this means i have 52lbs to loose, which is horrible, and terrifying, and feels un manageable.
there are however 11 weeks left until the christmas hols, and i have faith that i can manage to loose an average of 2lbs a weeks until then, so that would be 22lbs, so i am aiming to under or at least at 200lbs by then... :).
I have joined the gym, and i am going to eat well, all i need now is support and to find my own strength to make this happen. before i fall off that edge
Thursday 9 October 2008
Wednesday 8 October 2008
I suck
as of last night i have been feeling like crap, I have HORRIBLE cramps like someone is kicking me in the stomach, i feel faint, and sick, i am all shakey, and emotionally i can't stay still for 2 seconds, but i feel like such a bitch and an idiot. It is only day 3 of lectures, and i am going to have to miss a day, which is stressing me out, and i am missing ANOTHER tutor meeting, which is like the third this term already, she must be so pissed off at me. And the other thing is, everyone looks at you like some fucking cripple when you are ill, and i hate that shit, i feel bad enough as it is, and right now i just want to cry and make it all go away.
Saturday 4 October 2008
Food
Pretty much anyone who knows me, knows how much i hate my weight, or more precisely my body. And when me and Richard knew we would definetly both be going to uni again this year, having passed our exams, and that we would be living in the same house, we thought it would be a good idea to try and support each other to loose weight.
The original plan was just to join the gym (which i will be doing next week, tho i have to admit i am terrified) but i suggested we give atkins a go. And so for the last week or so, i have been trying to do atkins, trouble is, we are at uni.
The two things that students normally have particually in the first few weeks, is Pizza and alcohol. and while i have mostly been avoiding both of them, there have been a few slip ups, hehe.
But as of today, i am going to do it properly, i have lost about 7lbs already, which is a HUGE achievement in my eyes, and if i can keep doing that till i loose about 35 then i am basically there.. ;-)
I know if this works tho, it will be in a large part thanks to two people, who have shown me complete support. Drew and Rich, thank you... :)
The original plan was just to join the gym (which i will be doing next week, tho i have to admit i am terrified) but i suggested we give atkins a go. And so for the last week or so, i have been trying to do atkins, trouble is, we are at uni.
The two things that students normally have particually in the first few weeks, is Pizza and alcohol. and while i have mostly been avoiding both of them, there have been a few slip ups, hehe.
But as of today, i am going to do it properly, i have lost about 7lbs already, which is a HUGE achievement in my eyes, and if i can keep doing that till i loose about 35 then i am basically there.. ;-)
I know if this works tho, it will be in a large part thanks to two people, who have shown me complete support. Drew and Rich, thank you... :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)