Well have to start by saying if you don't already know what the main thing on my mind is at the moment, it is likely this post will make little or no sense to you, but for those of you who do, I spoke to him for the first time in what has to be at least a year, i mean actually heard his beautiful voice, talked to him; it was like having all the poison and doubts about my life that were drifting around inside me for so long, sucked out of me; and left we with a feeling somewhat like completeness.
I have know for a long time i still wanted to Marry this man and spend my life with him, but to hear him say about him feeling the same about me, well it just makes me feel at ease at the world again, and allows me to trust that the fates will lead me to a place where we can be happily together.
We are still not going to be able to see each other for sometime, probably another year, but i know it will have passed in a blink of an eye when i get there, no matter how it may look to be from this side of time. We have so much we have to talk about, and i have no illusions about how difficult some of our history will be to talk about in person, yet at the same time, i feel like we have been waiting to talk about it for far to long already; but as i told him yesterday, our time will come, and he rightly pointed out we both have our own mistakes to fix, and repair as best we can.
In other news.....;-)
I have been writting a lot more of my story in the last couple of months, and tho i have a plan for about another 4 chapters i seem to have hit some kind of writters block, i am having some trouble getting myself motivated again, tho i am sure, when i do finally sit down to write chapter 7 and have it on the paper, pulling me back into my story, it will flow again.
Also i have currently got a broken foot, it really is a bit of a bugger if you ask me, tho not as bad as you might think, cos it seems to be healing quickly, and i can kind of walk now, tho i must remember not to if possible as it is probably not good for the bones to do it too much.
And finally i am trying to hunt down work, to little or no avail, but i will keep trying, it will be so much easier to manage when my foot has recovered, which should be in a few weeks at the most.
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Saturday, 2 February 2008
sickness and health
Well i have been ill, as you might have quessed from the title, which is also the excuse i am going to use, for not having updated in such a long time, NOT that anyone reads this much, if at all, as far as i know, so maybe i am sitting talking to myself...Haha.
anyways, i have been thinking a lot about my past, and why i am who i am a guess, and how i got here. so i started writing a post about everything that happened from when i first met Adam, to help me get my head around everything, but it is getting a lot longer than a i planned possibly too long and personal to post here, and maybe something i will only show to a select few, or maybe i will post it, depending, 1, how long it gets, and 2, how it makes me feel in the end.
but anyways, i am all well again now, Physcially if not mentally, though i am working hard on the later, and a good night out in the union with Adam and Andy helped 10 fold with that.
In fact there are several things that were said to me yesterday that stick out, and made my day.
Pete said to me, when i just back to halls having been away for a few days:
"glad to have you back."
Richard said when i was over in his hall with him:
"me, you, Filipe and Anoop, would be great in a house together, is a real shame, Filipe and Anoop already have places to live"
and "you are just one of the guys....no offence"
both of these comments made me smile, cos it just made me realise that our friendship means as much to Richard as it does to me.
And Andy, he said to me when i asked him if he was going to come drinking with me for my birthday:
"of course, would love to, wouldn't miss it"
and Adam defending himself adamently to me, when he said how much hard work Andy can be, like he was worried i would think bad of him, after about a minute, i just laughed, told him i don't think bad of him, and that he worries to much about how other people think of him, which is highly ironic coming from me, as i am the queen of worrying about such things.
I don't know, but having been home for a few days, it was just really nice to have it really hammered home, that the friends I have here are not just "putting up with me" they actually like me, and care about me. Makes life a lot easier to deal with, not to mention a whole lot more worth living.
And as it is my birthday next weekend, a week today infact it is nice to know i will be able to have a really good time, and make up for my crappy 21st...Tehehe
anyways, i have been thinking a lot about my past, and why i am who i am a guess, and how i got here. so i started writing a post about everything that happened from when i first met Adam, to help me get my head around everything, but it is getting a lot longer than a i planned possibly too long and personal to post here, and maybe something i will only show to a select few, or maybe i will post it, depending, 1, how long it gets, and 2, how it makes me feel in the end.
but anyways, i am all well again now, Physcially if not mentally, though i am working hard on the later, and a good night out in the union with Adam and Andy helped 10 fold with that.
In fact there are several things that were said to me yesterday that stick out, and made my day.
Pete said to me, when i just back to halls having been away for a few days:
"glad to have you back."
Richard said when i was over in his hall with him:
"me, you, Filipe and Anoop, would be great in a house together, is a real shame, Filipe and Anoop already have places to live"
and "you are just one of the guys....no offence"
both of these comments made me smile, cos it just made me realise that our friendship means as much to Richard as it does to me.
And Andy, he said to me when i asked him if he was going to come drinking with me for my birthday:
"of course, would love to, wouldn't miss it"
and Adam defending himself adamently to me, when he said how much hard work Andy can be, like he was worried i would think bad of him, after about a minute, i just laughed, told him i don't think bad of him, and that he worries to much about how other people think of him, which is highly ironic coming from me, as i am the queen of worrying about such things.
I don't know, but having been home for a few days, it was just really nice to have it really hammered home, that the friends I have here are not just "putting up with me" they actually like me, and care about me. Makes life a lot easier to deal with, not to mention a whole lot more worth living.
And as it is my birthday next weekend, a week today infact it is nice to know i will be able to have a really good time, and make up for my crappy 21st...Tehehe
Sunday, 20 January 2008
A new and hopefully better year
It has been far far too long since I last updated this, I kinda got pre-occupied end of last year, going home half way through December, and spent the entire three week holiday enjoying time with my family. particually my brothers, who i have really missed while living in Halls. Particually Haddon, who having been living in Scotland, where he is at Uni, so i had not seen him in about 4 months.
We had a really good Christmas, One of the most festive christmas' i have had in a long time, and i have a great time.
We all went to Devon after Christmas day, and met my Uncle Mick and his Gf, and their beautiful little girl, Lola, and we swaped pressies there, it was so lovely watching Lola unwrapping stuff, and she was so Happy nearly all the time, and playing with Everyone.
Had a fairly quiet new years, at my grandparents house, it was nice though, and compared to the horrible new years i had going into 2007, this was much nicer.
We came back to Camberley on new years day, via my Mum's friends house, a lovely Lady by the name of Shane, who it was really nice to see again, though we didn't stay long.
The next week sort of vanished, playing on Consoles, and doing jigsaws and such, And before i knew it i was back here at Uni, on the 6th, and what a first week that was.
Went out with the 1st Floor girls on the Sunday, it was so busy in the club, that we could hardly move let alone dance, it was kinda horrible actually, but was really nice spending time with them again.
Monday was a long day, (full timetable), and that evening i kinda needed sleep to make up for Sunday night, and good job i did, went out with the guys (Adam and Pete, and several of Pete's mates)on Tuesday night which was a bizzare insight into the male mind. Wednesday Andy turned up, in true Andy style, we had no idea where he was, what he was up to, or when and if he was going to turn up, but Wednesday i had this knock on my door, and there was Andy. Turns out he was on holiday with his lovely girlfriend, Kat, and had only got back from Costa Rica that morning. So to celebrate his return, me Adam and Andy decided to go shopping, and then spent the evening in my room, laughing, drinking wine, and watching "Blue Planet", (which is a nature documentary, though a very good one) Adam eventually got too tired and went off to bed, and after another hour or so, of laughing at various weird Sharks, Andy decided he was too Tired, and WAY too drunk, and headed off home too. So thursday rolls round, and there is a Wine Society meeting i had been thinking about going to, and andy is going too, so he talks me into meeting him there, and we actually have a really good time, but it did mean that for the fourth evening that week, i was drinking...hehe, and having had a full timetable on Thursday, i was very glad to have Friday afternoon off.
I had a fairly un-eventful weekend, and of course another long day on monday, but that was followed by Tuesday and Wednesday off, so Tuesday afternoon, me Andy and Adam headed into town and then that evening we all went out, After i had already got Stupidly drunk playing drinking games in halls, To be honest i shouldn't have gone out, and so i came home earlier, and went straight to bed.
Wednesday i had a Counceller appointment, which i am glad i had cos it helped me figure out several things, and how i was going to sort them, the most important of those beingn the fact i had stopped taking my meds, and what to do about it, He didn't seem to worried, and told me to take them again, and go see my GP ASAP, which i am doing on Wednesday next week. and we came up with ideas to help me stick to it, so i am Hopefullly this time will be better.
this does mean i am going through a very anti-social phase at the moment, and i am tired all the time, i am just hoping to feel more with it, in time for my birthday in a few weeks.
And so this weekend, i have made use of the time i have had, to do work for AIMS in fact i have completed a whole journal in one day, which is a huge acheivement.
And so I think that leaves this more or less up to date, and now my life is settling again, I shall endever to keep this more up to date than it has been.
We had a really good Christmas, One of the most festive christmas' i have had in a long time, and i have a great time.
We all went to Devon after Christmas day, and met my Uncle Mick and his Gf, and their beautiful little girl, Lola, and we swaped pressies there, it was so lovely watching Lola unwrapping stuff, and she was so Happy nearly all the time, and playing with Everyone.
Had a fairly quiet new years, at my grandparents house, it was nice though, and compared to the horrible new years i had going into 2007, this was much nicer.
We came back to Camberley on new years day, via my Mum's friends house, a lovely Lady by the name of Shane, who it was really nice to see again, though we didn't stay long.
The next week sort of vanished, playing on Consoles, and doing jigsaws and such, And before i knew it i was back here at Uni, on the 6th, and what a first week that was.
Went out with the 1st Floor girls on the Sunday, it was so busy in the club, that we could hardly move let alone dance, it was kinda horrible actually, but was really nice spending time with them again.
Monday was a long day, (full timetable), and that evening i kinda needed sleep to make up for Sunday night, and good job i did, went out with the guys (Adam and Pete, and several of Pete's mates)on Tuesday night which was a bizzare insight into the male mind. Wednesday Andy turned up, in true Andy style, we had no idea where he was, what he was up to, or when and if he was going to turn up, but Wednesday i had this knock on my door, and there was Andy. Turns out he was on holiday with his lovely girlfriend, Kat, and had only got back from Costa Rica that morning. So to celebrate his return, me Adam and Andy decided to go shopping, and then spent the evening in my room, laughing, drinking wine, and watching "Blue Planet", (which is a nature documentary, though a very good one) Adam eventually got too tired and went off to bed, and after another hour or so, of laughing at various weird Sharks, Andy decided he was too Tired, and WAY too drunk, and headed off home too. So thursday rolls round, and there is a Wine Society meeting i had been thinking about going to, and andy is going too, so he talks me into meeting him there, and we actually have a really good time, but it did mean that for the fourth evening that week, i was drinking...hehe, and having had a full timetable on Thursday, i was very glad to have Friday afternoon off.
I had a fairly un-eventful weekend, and of course another long day on monday, but that was followed by Tuesday and Wednesday off, so Tuesday afternoon, me Andy and Adam headed into town and then that evening we all went out, After i had already got Stupidly drunk playing drinking games in halls, To be honest i shouldn't have gone out, and so i came home earlier, and went straight to bed.
Wednesday i had a Counceller appointment, which i am glad i had cos it helped me figure out several things, and how i was going to sort them, the most important of those beingn the fact i had stopped taking my meds, and what to do about it, He didn't seem to worried, and told me to take them again, and go see my GP ASAP, which i am doing on Wednesday next week. and we came up with ideas to help me stick to it, so i am Hopefullly this time will be better.
this does mean i am going through a very anti-social phase at the moment, and i am tired all the time, i am just hoping to feel more with it, in time for my birthday in a few weeks.
And so this weekend, i have made use of the time i have had, to do work for AIMS in fact i have completed a whole journal in one day, which is a huge acheivement.
And so I think that leaves this more or less up to date, and now my life is settling again, I shall endever to keep this more up to date than it has been.
Friday, 30 November 2007
Happy Days
Well i have to say the last week or so have been on the whole some of the better weeks i have had in a long time, that is if you disregard the horrible migranes i have been having, and then the meds i have been taking to try and cure them, have been making me REALLY tired, i slept through almost all my lectures on Thursday, luckily my lecturer is an understanding person...:S..
I am going to start a fresh next week though, making sure i get up for breakfast at least 3 times in the week, Preferably 5, but considering i have managed about 1 last week, 3 would be a step in the right direction...Tehehe.
I had Toby come stay with me in Halls last weekend, and i was really pleased how well he got on with all my friends, or all the ones he met anyways, which was actually a large number of them, He seems to be under the impression that i am only capable of making friends with Strange people, and I think it is more i am not very good at staying friends with Boring people...Hehe.
Had a really good thanksgiving, even though technically i don't celebrate it, Me, Adam and Chris, had dinner and drinks with Andy and his girlfriend Kat, who cooked a wonderful meal, and then me, Adam and Chris ventured into town, to the club Po Na Na's, which i hadn't been to before, and was a pleasant surprise, And not too busy on the whole, might have been partly to do with the late hour at which we arrived there, but either way was a nice evening.
While Toby was visiting several things happened, i will start with the bad news first, my 360 died, and i mean really Dead died, the dreaded 3 red lights, that all 360 owners live in fear of seeing...Hehe, I was actually nearly crying, I don't know what i would do with out it, I tried leaving it for a day, but no joy, i even tried putting it different ways up, but no, In the end, i decided there was only one thing for it. I still have my reciept so i decided to take a chance on Game giving me an exchangem given that the date on the reciept is so Faded you can't tell when i bought it, And can you believe my luck, they fell for it, Hook line and Sinker, and gave me an exchange for a brand spanking new one, I was having to try desperately not to laugh at them in the shop, and i got out of the shop and practically danced over to Filipe to tell him...Hehe. It has been working great, i am going to download all my arcade games again, and then i am going to get any new ones i fancy, and then update it again, Worse case senario i am back where i was before, with a few extra games a quieter disk drive, a 360 with more heat sinks and an HDMI port on the back, Is a win/win situation.
We also had a really good night on saturday night, we had a "floor party" which means quite simply we had a party on our floor of halls, just silly drinking games, everything from "flip cup" to "I have never...", the later being the most enlightening of games, and the little devils in the group, as well as the angels showed their true colours, but was a great deal of fun. and much more up my street than trecking into town everytime we want a party, though not that i don't enjoy doing that now and then.
But generally i am being more sociable than i have been in quite sometime, and i am genuinally enjoying it too, which is a little bit of a first for me, and while i have always enjoyed company i have not been one for the night life and the like, but now i feel so much more comforable in my own skin and with who i am, that i don't feel like i need to hide away, and i am ready to let go of some of the inhibions, that have held me back for so long, and i feel that if i can be really happy like this, then the world has know limits to how happy i can be.
I am going to start a fresh next week though, making sure i get up for breakfast at least 3 times in the week, Preferably 5, but considering i have managed about 1 last week, 3 would be a step in the right direction...Tehehe.
I had Toby come stay with me in Halls last weekend, and i was really pleased how well he got on with all my friends, or all the ones he met anyways, which was actually a large number of them, He seems to be under the impression that i am only capable of making friends with Strange people, and I think it is more i am not very good at staying friends with Boring people...Hehe.
Had a really good thanksgiving, even though technically i don't celebrate it, Me, Adam and Chris, had dinner and drinks with Andy and his girlfriend Kat, who cooked a wonderful meal, and then me, Adam and Chris ventured into town, to the club Po Na Na's, which i hadn't been to before, and was a pleasant surprise, And not too busy on the whole, might have been partly to do with the late hour at which we arrived there, but either way was a nice evening.
While Toby was visiting several things happened, i will start with the bad news first, my 360 died, and i mean really Dead died, the dreaded 3 red lights, that all 360 owners live in fear of seeing...Hehe, I was actually nearly crying, I don't know what i would do with out it, I tried leaving it for a day, but no joy, i even tried putting it different ways up, but no, In the end, i decided there was only one thing for it. I still have my reciept so i decided to take a chance on Game giving me an exchangem given that the date on the reciept is so Faded you can't tell when i bought it, And can you believe my luck, they fell for it, Hook line and Sinker, and gave me an exchange for a brand spanking new one, I was having to try desperately not to laugh at them in the shop, and i got out of the shop and practically danced over to Filipe to tell him...Hehe. It has been working great, i am going to download all my arcade games again, and then i am going to get any new ones i fancy, and then update it again, Worse case senario i am back where i was before, with a few extra games a quieter disk drive, a 360 with more heat sinks and an HDMI port on the back, Is a win/win situation.
We also had a really good night on saturday night, we had a "floor party" which means quite simply we had a party on our floor of halls, just silly drinking games, everything from "flip cup" to "I have never...", the later being the most enlightening of games, and the little devils in the group, as well as the angels showed their true colours, but was a great deal of fun. and much more up my street than trecking into town everytime we want a party, though not that i don't enjoy doing that now and then.
But generally i am being more sociable than i have been in quite sometime, and i am genuinally enjoying it too, which is a little bit of a first for me, and while i have always enjoyed company i have not been one for the night life and the like, but now i feel so much more comforable in my own skin and with who i am, that i don't feel like i need to hide away, and i am ready to let go of some of the inhibions, that have held me back for so long, and i feel that if i can be really happy like this, then the world has know limits to how happy i can be.
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Business of Uni life
I am not doing so well with the whole keeping my blog up to date thing, not hugely surprising considering how much my life has changed in the last few months, I am having trouble keeping myself up to date, let alone keeping everyone else up to date too...hehe
So...What have I been up to, Well surprisingly little to be honest, Have some work i am doing for AIMS now, so at least I am starting to earn money again, which of course, as a student, is in short supply. I have every intention to go round the bars and restaurants and try and find we a part time job in one of those too. I am still not used to being in debt, and to be honest i want to pay of a fair chunk of the money i owe them, cos i can't help but feel bad every time i spend any money on me.
I am really looking forward to going into London this weekend, am FINALLY going to get to meet Jonny. have sort of confirmed it, but need to just make a few arrangements, am also going to go see my aunt, uncle and the beautiful Lola, who started crawling a few days ago, Much to everyones delight, expect Hayde's as she now has to watch her even more closely.
Uni is going really well, we are geting into our mid-term exams and things now, and so far they are going really well, a little nervous about tomorrowz Physics one, on waves. but at least i will get a chance to find out how much a really do know. I actually am starting to feel like i am learning things now, which is a bit of a new concept to me, not happened to me in a great many years...Haha...and i am loving it. Apparently i only need 55% to pass and considering so far i am averaging about 80-90%, so i am thinking that passing isn't really too much of an issue, but it is difficult not to become too relaxed about it all.
I do wish my Physics/electronics lecturer wasn't quite such a bore, it is nothing short of a mircle that i have not fallen asleep in any of her lectures before now, the fact that i wrote most of this blog in one of her lessons just goes to show just how boring she really is.
Went out with the girls on my corridor the other night, such a laugh, had a bit more to drink than i probably should have, but hey isn't that what being a student is all about...Hehe, and besides was so much fun, Hopefully i am going with them to a PJ party next week, should be interesting. I am going to get the photos of the night out from Jess today, so anyone who wants to see pics of my friends and me, making complete fools out of ourselves, just ask...Haha
The temperature has suddenly dropped here the last few days, a little bit later in the year than it normally is, but it is definetlly "take a coat" weather now, and even on the lovely sunny days like today, it is really chilly. I am definetly going to have to invest in some jeans i think, some that actually fit me...Haha.
I am still making a great deal of progress in terms of getting my head sorted, though i am still not where i want to be, i feel like things ar moving in the right direction. I have been talking with my Dad again, his talks always help me see things differentlly.I also got to talk with Drew a bit this weekend, and tho we are both busy busy busy, we are managing to find time to talk to each other which is so nice,.I do really miss him, and i can't wait to see him, but more than that, i wish i could really give him a hug, or just curl up with him, Life does seem to be doing its very best to make his life as difficult as possible, I am glad him and THeresa are getting on so well at the moment, she doesn't seem to drag more crap into his life like everyone else around him, and he nearly always seems better when they have been able to talk.
I had Photos printed for my room as well, which does make it feel a bit more like i have the people i love around me. I have pictures around my mirror of my brothers, my parents, my gran and grandad, Me and Lola, my school friends and of course, me and Drew, i kinda need some pics of my friends here, but guess I will have to work on that one...Hehe, i also have pics of the DOm rep, and Egypt, my two favourite countries, plus just some great moments in my life...
But anyways i will hasve to leave that there, as i am about to be late for Electronics...and we are getting assisgnments back...wish me luck...Tehehe
So...What have I been up to, Well surprisingly little to be honest, Have some work i am doing for AIMS now, so at least I am starting to earn money again, which of course, as a student, is in short supply. I have every intention to go round the bars and restaurants and try and find we a part time job in one of those too. I am still not used to being in debt, and to be honest i want to pay of a fair chunk of the money i owe them, cos i can't help but feel bad every time i spend any money on me.
I am really looking forward to going into London this weekend, am FINALLY going to get to meet Jonny. have sort of confirmed it, but need to just make a few arrangements, am also going to go see my aunt, uncle and the beautiful Lola, who started crawling a few days ago, Much to everyones delight, expect Hayde's as she now has to watch her even more closely.
Uni is going really well, we are geting into our mid-term exams and things now, and so far they are going really well, a little nervous about tomorrowz Physics one, on waves. but at least i will get a chance to find out how much a really do know. I actually am starting to feel like i am learning things now, which is a bit of a new concept to me, not happened to me in a great many years...Haha...and i am loving it. Apparently i only need 55% to pass and considering so far i am averaging about 80-90%, so i am thinking that passing isn't really too much of an issue, but it is difficult not to become too relaxed about it all.
I do wish my Physics/electronics lecturer wasn't quite such a bore, it is nothing short of a mircle that i have not fallen asleep in any of her lectures before now, the fact that i wrote most of this blog in one of her lessons just goes to show just how boring she really is.
Went out with the girls on my corridor the other night, such a laugh, had a bit more to drink than i probably should have, but hey isn't that what being a student is all about...Hehe, and besides was so much fun, Hopefully i am going with them to a PJ party next week, should be interesting. I am going to get the photos of the night out from Jess today, so anyone who wants to see pics of my friends and me, making complete fools out of ourselves, just ask...Haha
The temperature has suddenly dropped here the last few days, a little bit later in the year than it normally is, but it is definetlly "take a coat" weather now, and even on the lovely sunny days like today, it is really chilly. I am definetly going to have to invest in some jeans i think, some that actually fit me...Haha.
I am still making a great deal of progress in terms of getting my head sorted, though i am still not where i want to be, i feel like things ar moving in the right direction. I have been talking with my Dad again, his talks always help me see things differentlly.I also got to talk with Drew a bit this weekend, and tho we are both busy busy busy, we are managing to find time to talk to each other which is so nice,.I do really miss him, and i can't wait to see him, but more than that, i wish i could really give him a hug, or just curl up with him, Life does seem to be doing its very best to make his life as difficult as possible, I am glad him and THeresa are getting on so well at the moment, she doesn't seem to drag more crap into his life like everyone else around him, and he nearly always seems better when they have been able to talk.
I had Photos printed for my room as well, which does make it feel a bit more like i have the people i love around me. I have pictures around my mirror of my brothers, my parents, my gran and grandad, Me and Lola, my school friends and of course, me and Drew, i kinda need some pics of my friends here, but guess I will have to work on that one...Hehe, i also have pics of the DOm rep, and Egypt, my two favourite countries, plus just some great moments in my life...
But anyways i will hasve to leave that there, as i am about to be late for Electronics...and we are getting assisgnments back...wish me luck...Tehehe
Sunday, 4 November 2007
True love and Drunken nights
First of all i want to appologise for writting this while Tipsy. But well it might be a laugh anyways...Tehehe...
Had a really good time talking to Drew Yesterday. and today as well, it just makes me reaslise how much i am still in love with this guy, i really would give almost anything for us to be able to be together again, And it breaks my heart just knowing it simply isn't possible at the moment, and i can see it hurting him too; I feel bad, as if he doesn't have enough crap going on his life at the moment, he has me to worry about on top of it all, but i just hope i can be as supporting to him as i try to be, and as much as he diserves, cos i really would give up the world to stop his pain.
A large part of me wishes he could be here, meeting the wonderful people i am meeting and having the great fun i am having, cos i am loving life here, with its randomness and general love of life, cos everyone just seems so much more alive here than people I have met anywhere else, And it is so what i need right now.
I will leave this on a note of how much i would recomend Uni to anyone, no matter how shy or scared you are, You will have a great time, and don't let it bother you, And just be yourself, and there are sooooo many people here you WILL find people you get along with, be it 500 people or 5....just believe in yourself. That is all it takes...
Had a really good time talking to Drew Yesterday. and today as well, it just makes me reaslise how much i am still in love with this guy, i really would give almost anything for us to be able to be together again, And it breaks my heart just knowing it simply isn't possible at the moment, and i can see it hurting him too; I feel bad, as if he doesn't have enough crap going on his life at the moment, he has me to worry about on top of it all, but i just hope i can be as supporting to him as i try to be, and as much as he diserves, cos i really would give up the world to stop his pain.
A large part of me wishes he could be here, meeting the wonderful people i am meeting and having the great fun i am having, cos i am loving life here, with its randomness and general love of life, cos everyone just seems so much more alive here than people I have met anywhere else, And it is so what i need right now.
I will leave this on a note of how much i would recomend Uni to anyone, no matter how shy or scared you are, You will have a great time, and don't let it bother you, And just be yourself, and there are sooooo many people here you WILL find people you get along with, be it 500 people or 5....just believe in yourself. That is all it takes...
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
My Dad said to me....
" Another way of looking at it - you have gorged yourself with a range of experiences in the last year or so (some good, some bad) and you effectively have a large stack sat in your mental in-tray waiting to be assimilated properly into your inner self. You could regard some of your "issues" as being akin to mental indigestion..
If you keep your brain ticking over getting your head around the maths, physics and electronics, you will find in a few months time that some of that backlog will have been integrated back into you and won't feel so raw
It's a slightly wierd way of thinking about what is going on - in effect you keep your mind and body busy but not stressed on useful stuff, and the other stuff will slowly slot into its natural place, sort of as a side-effect, sort-of by accident."
My father said this to me today, and it just seemed to make sense....Was one of the greatest things people have said to me in a long time.
If you keep your brain ticking over getting your head around the maths, physics and electronics, you will find in a few months time that some of that backlog will have been integrated back into you and won't feel so raw
It's a slightly wierd way of thinking about what is going on - in effect you keep your mind and body busy but not stressed on useful stuff, and the other stuff will slowly slot into its natural place, sort of as a side-effect, sort-of by accident."
My father said this to me today, and it just seemed to make sense....Was one of the greatest things people have said to me in a long time.
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